Salt smash!!!!!!

Once upon a time someone told me that chocolate milk was a great drink for recovery after a run. I was all over it without asking too many questions because chocolate milk always sounds like a good idea to me. It quickly became one of my favorite post-run drinks second only to a giant Starbucks latte.

I’m a “runcher” during the week which means I run on my lunch breaks. I guess I could run early in the morning, but with an unpredictable almost-two year old it just makes things easier plus I get to “sleep in” until 6:30. I always keep a bottle of milk in the fridge at my office because I tend to use up my whole break running and then subsequently making myself look not-disgusting for the rest of the work day. It’s a choice between Starbucks and offending all my coworkers and I want people to like me.

Now I’m not sure how much I care about being offensive though. Yesterday I ran 5 miles. When I got back to the office I was HANGRY...maybe because I overdressed for 50 degrees and sweated so much. Who knows. I just know that I was really looking forward to a big, cold glass of chocolate milk. I was thinking about it for the last half mile of my run. Yum. It was going to be so incredibly awesome.

I grabbed my chocolate, threw open the fridge, grabbed the milk, and….well this is where things get a little fuzzy…

It was empty. Like totally empty when there had been something in it less than an hour earlier. I stood in the kitchen with my mouth hanging open looking stupidly at this empty container of milk in my hand as if I could somehow will it to be full again. It might have been less of a smack in the face if someone had taken my milk without asking and then threw the empty bottle in the garbage. The fact that they used it all and then put the EMPTY FREAKING BOTTLE back in the fridge made it soooo much worse somehow.

As I said, I was hangry. I had not taken it easy on this run. I was sweaty and gross. And now I had no chocolate milk.


That’s not me, but I feel it accurately represents my emotions about this situation. After the initial ragefest subsided and the fires were all extinguised, I had to make an unplanned trip to the store because there was no way I was going to make it through the afternoon without my drink or the cereal that I had planned on eating later in the day. I never did find out who took my milk and I likely never will, but I’m also pretty confident that it will never happen again:

1) Because everyone is now terrified of me.
2) Because although I had my initials on the bottle, obviously I didn’t make enough of an impact. If someone takes this milk now, they are doing it just to be a jerk:


Not only does it clearly say that it is LAUREN’S MILK (Lauren is my for real name), but it also states what it is intended for which I’m hoping will send the thief on a little guilt trip if they see this in the fridge and happened to be outside of the 5-mile tirade fall-out zone yesterday. No one has touched it this morning, that’s for sure.

What is your favorite post-workout recovery beverage? Has a coworker ever taken something of yours out of the fridge? Have you ever been HANGRY!?

I hope everyone has a spectacular weekend! We will be enjoying some unseasonable weather in Baltimore and although I didn’t have a very long run planned for tomorrow morning, I feel like I should take advantage of it before the temperatures drop again!

~ Salt


19 thoughts on “Salt smash!!!!!!

  1. Diann says:

    Oh the work food/drink thiefs are the worst! Luckily, I don’t eat anything that people want. (Kale’s not very hot on the covet list.)

    Also, congrats on your latest account of streaking–very inspiring!

  2. Lauren Gilfeather says:

    The best (read: worst) things that have been messed with in my work fridge:

    – I went all out and bought lovely, organic cream from a local farmer. I was so excited. It was INSIDE my lunch bag and I went to go make my coffee in the office Keurig and then get my cream. My lunch bag was open, and my cream had been opened (seal broken) and was spilled all over my lunch bag and the fridge. I definitely went all Hulk over it.

    – This one just happened two days ago. It was my boyfriend’s birthday and his favorite thing ever is Carvel ice cream cake. I purchased one and kept it in the work freezer so he wouldn’t see it at home. It said “Happy Birthday, Brian!” on it. I went to get it out of the freezer on Wednesday to bring it home…it was half gone. Half. Of a birthday cake with someone else’s name on it.


    I’m sorry about your milk. 😦

    • runsaltrun says:

      My jaw just hit my desk. That is so terrible about the cream. I would have Hulked over that as well. But someone’s birthday cake!? WHO DOES THAT!? That is probably the worst stolen-food-at-work story I have ever heard. I am so sorry. 😦

      • Lauren Gilfeather says:

        Yeah I was sort of shocked. I was able to find a last-minute replacement (although of the Friendly’s variety and not Carvel…the horror!) and luckily my boyfriend had a good laugh about it and wasn’t upset at all. It helped that I plied him with many pints of Shipyard Pumpkinhead before telling him his cake disappeared.

  3. Sara @ lifebetweenthemiles says:

    That totally sucks that people do things like that. I have had my lunch and yogurt taken multiple times, so I put my name on my stuff too. I would happily give someone my food if they asked for it, so it infuriates me when they just take it! Hopefully it won’t happen to you again. And the hulk smash totally make me laugh, my husband runs around saying that a lot in our house!

  4. txa1265 says:

    I have never put my stuff out there in a fridge at work – even at my first job way back in the late 80s I only used a lunch bag to fully contain my stuff. No one has ever gone in and taken anything of mine – but I have seen it happen to people at every company I have worked for (ranging from 45 person startup to current 25,000 employee Corning). I have known people who kept stuff in a drawer in their desk who had stuff rifled through! Nuts – some folks have no boundaries / manners!

    The only time I have had stuff eaten on me is by my kids … and while annoying, since they are big growing boys (6’2″ and 6’3″ at 15.5 and 17 years old) … I cut them some slack!

    It takes a while for my hunger to kick in after a run, so normally I will drink water, shower, and THEN pretty much force myself to have something.

    And yes, chocolate milk is THE BEST. I had heard about it, but after getting handed some by a ‘New York State Milk Maiden’ after completing my first marathon I was hooked!

    • runsaltrun says:

      Good lord you have some tall children! I have teenaged brothers and I’ve seen how they eat. It’s insane. I’m prepared for my daughter to steal my food too. She already does. I can’t eat anything around her without her needing to eat half of it.

      I’m starting to consider a mini fridge for my office. Who goes through someone else’s desk? That’s TERRIBLE!

  5. hellyfast says:

    I got incredible hulk on people who stole my Coke. There was only a Pepsi vending machine in our lounge so I’d bring my own and would go crazy if someone stole it. Ended up buying a mini fridge for my classroom 🙂

  6. Anita says:

    WTF! I would have lost my noodle and started shouting in a voice only dogs could hear. Seriously, what is wrong with people? I worked in an office with 500 people and food would go missing from the fridges all the time, even in our Executive kitchen. I rarely left anything in the fridge because of this and when I did leave food in the fridge it was usually something healthy and most of my co-workers weren’t into healthy eating.

    PS – Love your Hulk picture 🙂

    • runsaltrun says:

      Haha thanks! This experience definitely has me rethinking putting anything in there again. Maybe I should buy some medical sample bags and start storing my food in those. I bet that would be a turnoff.

  7. Kelly @ Turned up to Eleven says:

    I am an only child as you know, but I am usually good at sharing… unless it comes to my food. I would have been LIVID – and totally felt like you if i got there needing and expecting that milk to be in the fridge. I will NEVER understand people that raid office fridges and eat someone else’s food and drink!!!! WTF?

  8. mandyoutrunning says:

    A few years ago, I bought a pretty large bag of almonds to snack on at work. They were supposed to last me a couple of weeks. I left them on my desk, tucked away, unopened and then had a day off. When I got back to work, they were all gone, with an empty bag on my desk. I just couldn’t understand it. If you’re going to eat someone’s food, at least throw out the package! I work in a small office, so I found out pretty quickly who ate them, and I turned into a total hulk. 🙂 I understand your pain.

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